


Much Ado

by monaboyd_archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-16
Updated: 2004-03-16
Packaged: 2018-04-11 13:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4437911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monaboyd_archivist/pseuds/monaboyd_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a Shakespeare play. In which Billy is feisty, Dom is straight, Orli is in love, Viggo feels like singing, Bean is hot, John is vengeful, Dom and Billy should stop bickering, and the summary is too long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Much Ado

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Shirasade: this story was originally archived at the Monaboyd.net Archive, which was closed in September 2014 due to software issues and a lack of new submissions for several years . To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2014. I e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact me using the e-mail address on the Monaboyd.net Archive collection profile.

So It Begins by Duskwraithe

Elijah set his glass down on the table with a thunk, and everyone turned to look at him.

“This is it, guys. In two days we start shooting Towers, and this time next year we’ll come and shoot Return of the King and after that it’ll be all over.”

Miranda agreed. “This calls for another toast.” They raised their glasses, and the music swelled triumphantly until one of them was just a little too drunkenly enthusiastic. Glass shattered and liquid splattered.

“Whoops.” Waitresses bustled over waving towels and things. The mess was cleaned up soon enough. “I hear Dom and Orlando are coming tomorrow. We should go meet them.”

Billy chuckled and waggled his eyebrows: “Dom AND Orlando? I smell a fish.”

“Don’t be silly,” chided Sean. “You really should stop picking on those two.”

“Oh sod off, do you see how Orlando hangs on him? You’d think Dom was his mother. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Elijah burst into giggles. Billy pretended to glower. Ian shook his head.

‘.*#*#*#*.’

The airport was crowded, but Orlando stood out like a neon sign. In fact, he WAS a neon sign; neon green to be precise. Apparently Dominic hadn’t tainted Orli’s fashion sense at all. Viggo was with them, as well as the rest of the cast who hadn’t already shown up. The Neon Sign jumped Sean Bean first, then Elijah, then Billy, then bounced between everyone else passing out random hugs and chattering about his summer all the while. Dom was relating a shark incident to Elijah which might have even been true, then Elijah was mauled by Sean Astin and they began talking.

“And so I was like ‘no Orli stop thrashing around!’ but no, he didn’t listen and what-”

Billy stepped up for a hug with a grin. “Shut up Monaghan, nobody’s listening to you.”

“It’s Billy!! You survived without me! I never thought you’d do it.”

“I was enjoying myself no end, actually. Rediscovering the meaning of the word ‘quiet’.”

Sudden shrieks from behind them- “Oh my God it’s Orlando Bloom! Oh my God!!”

Fangirls came running up waving pens, paper and any exposed body part, expecting to get them signed by everyone present. Most of them managed to escape. The women moved on like a tornado, leaving in their wake a flustered Orlando and his new bodyguard Dom.

“I’m almost getting used to this. So, let’s go find the guys before they get lost.”

Orlando agreed and skipped after Dom. “Yeah. Did you notice Bean?”

Dom thought. “Not really. What about him?”

“He looked... hot.”

“You say that about everybody.”

“No, no... He looked really, really hot.”

“Oh no... not again. Tell me you’re not in love again. I’m half tempted to turn you in.”

“Hee. But don’t you think he’s hot?”

Dom was used to this. “No, if I were into guys, which I’m not, I would say he isn’t. He’s what, 50? Compare him to, say, Billy. Billy’s smart and funny and a lot hotter than Sean; he’d be the perfect guy if he weren’t always such a smartass.”

Orlando pouted. “You don’t think so?”

They smacked straight into Viggo, who had come back to find them. “Hey! Where were you guys?”

“Telling secrets. Keep your pants on, we’re coming.”

Viggo crossed his arms. “All right, what is it? Orlando telling you about his STD collection?”

“He is *in love*. With none other than our own Southern Softy.”

Viggo grinned. “Bean? For how long?”

“For about 30 seconds, so we’re about halfway into this.”

They all laughed at this, and Viggo clapped the elf on the shoulder. “Good luck in converting him, then.”

Dom shook his head in wonder as the three trailed after the rest. “I still don’t get how you can be in love with someone of the same sex. Just seems really... weird.”

“You’ll learn.”

“Hah, no I won’t. I was born straight and I’ll die straight and you can’t make me change my mind even if you whacked me with three green buckets alternately.”

Viggo and Orli shared a grin. “I think not. I’m willing to bet that by the time filming is over you’ll be called ‘Dominic the Gay-Arse Man’ by everyone on set.”

“How about ‘Orlando the Annoying-Arse Man Who Comes Up With Dumb-Arse Nicknames?’ ”

Viggo’s eyes glinted. “Pete told me last night that he wants to one of us to do a solo in the third movie...”

Dom scoffed. “He gave it to Billy. Nobody can never ever sing as well as that guy.”

“No, I mean another one besides Billy’s. Whoever wins gets to sing, fair enough?”

“All right, you’re on. I’m gonna go practice my scales.”

‘.*#*#*#*.’

John was in a bad mood. His face was itching like hell and he was about to fall asleep on his feet and he kept tripping over the roots of bloody Fangorn Forest.

Cut was yelled for the last time that night, and he plopped wearily into his chair. Ian sat down next to him and struck up what was supposed to be a conversation.

“I hear that someone will be asking Boromir out.”

“Who?” John mumbled.

“Our elegant platinum blonde elf, who is at the moment, I believe, over there attempting to stand on his head.”

John cackled as Orli was nudged by Viggo and toppled to the ground, coming up grumbling about his messed hair.

“Who told you?”

“I happened to overhear he and Viggo talking. Apparently, Bloom’s too embarrassed to do much so Viggo will ask for him.”

John reflected, a certain evil plan forming in his head. This could be fun.

‘.*#*#*#*.’

TBC


End file.
